The debt of not working out
At this point, it’s an understood fact that working out in any of its forms has tremendous benefits. We all know it’s good for us, but it’s often forgotten that it’s also good for others, especially those that take care of us. I saw this lesson up-close and personal on our family trip.
One of our older family members (we’ll call her Susie), was not known to exercise in any way shape, or form. Susie mentions that just keeping herself intellectually stimulated is enough. “As long as my mind is sharp, the body will follow”1. I believe her mindset is in the right place, and it’s better than not doing anything to improve the body, but as I saw her kids struggle to transport her from place to place or to help her with the basic necessities, it was clear that if you don’t maintain the body AND the mind, you put debt on your love ones.
The culture of reliance
In most Asian cultures, the norm is to take care of your family as they get older because they’ve taken care of you as you’ve grown. It sounds fair, right? I’d like to argue for it’s not.2 Children aren’t asked to be born, it’s from the desires and wants of our parents. It might sound a little cynical, but it’s the truth. Fast forward decades later, the responsibility now lays upon the children. I understand it’s not as simple and clear-cut as this but I’ve seen personally how families have torn apart because of this responsibility.
The matter of fact is that taking care of aging people is incredibly difficult. If you want to test this theory out, please sign up to work as a nurse at a retirement home. They do incredibly strenuous and difficult work. Imagine taking care of someone that may have a mental or physical disorder. Physical and verbal assault are amongst the many things you have to deal with every single day. I had the pleasure of assisting in the transfer of an older person to the toilet and carrying the deadweight of someone that refuses to help you was a momentous task. To be delicate (avoid bruising, or hurting them), while moving a person is not easy, even for someone that lifts weights for fun.
My aunty isn’t a bad person in any case, but I don’t think she saw the ramifications of her kids having to take care of her. In her mind, this was normal and wasn’t a burden. Her children’s faces seemed to portray a different story. they couldn’t fully enjoy the trip and constantly had to monitor her because of her tendency to stand up from her wheelchair. It was the classic case of “not knowing your own capabilities”.
This is the debt you put on your kids if you don’t take care of yourself. Of course, natural aging and decline are normal, but we should strive to maintain our body and mind for as long as possible. To accept and rely on others to take care of you is a dangerous trap, and often an unfair responsibility placed upon your loved ones.
Shoot for independence
It’s fine to rely on others, especially if you need it, but there’s an argument to do everything in your power to be as independent as possible. By having this mindset, you won’t have to fall into the trap of “someone else will take care of this” nor will you let yourself get comfortable with “being comfortable”. Once you get comfortable, standards will drop. Habits that made you who you are or what allowed you to do many things will begin to loosen up. Instead of going for your walk every day, perhaps a walk every other day. You’ve just lowered your own threshold by doing so. The body just wants to minimum things to retain homeostasis but defying it by challenging ourselves to do more is exactly what we need. It feels counterproductive but you want to always make what’s uncomfortable the norm.
It also builds confidence if you’re able to do anything without assistance. Things you take for granted become a hassle and often time-consuming if you’re weaker. If you’ve ever had an injury, for example, a shoulder injury, you’d know that a shower becomes extremely tedious. Or walking from one room to another on an ankle injury. This becomes apparent when you see other people around your age struggling to do things. Feeling good directly correlates with doing good (*well if you’re trying to be grammatically correct). It also removes the thought of inconvenience or burden on your family. Everyone can have peace of mind and fully enjoy themselves. Furthermore, you can become that person that’s still reliable. There’s no better compliment
Ultimately, striving for a lifestyle of physical and mental balance gives you options. For someone that’s aging, that could be playing with your grandchildren or having a conversation with them. This is a memory that will last forever with both parties. We often work hard so our kids won’t have to go through a tough life. Let’s make sure we see it all the way through so they won’t have to at the end of ours.
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