What I got right/wrong: Avoiding Addiction
There are a lot of things that I’ve done and predicted that was wrong..sometimes right. it’s hard to see now, but we can always connect the dot backward.
It’s a series, I wanted to write about and constantly update. I want to explore why I got something right or wrong, and discuss how to change my strategy and improve my thinking if I encounter a similar problem. It’s also a reminder to be humble since I predict I’ll get lots of things wrong, but that’s where the learning begins.
For this week, I want to focus on what I got wrong so far in life, mainly using how I would never get caught spending money on dumb material things. I never understood why people spend so much money collecting clothes, bags, shoes, or things in general. I was adamant I would never fall into the spending trap in which I’d obsessively go out of my way to seek this “thing” and shape my life around it. I thought I was too smart to get caught spending money on something that didn’t drastically improve my health or wealth.
I’d collected Yugioh and pokemon cards in the past, but I would never spend an outrageous sum or make it a life mission to collect it all. I would see kids spend their entire allowance within minutes only to be disappointed when they didn’t draw the card they wanted1. I would see friends pay their entire paychecks for shoes and bags that barely saw sunlight. Their reasoning was to preserve it because they spent a lot on it. Ridiculous right? Until I started to get into a hobby that made me act the same way; Collecting houseplants.
First, it started with just one then five, and turned into 10 within a couple of days. I didn’t know what got into me but there was a rush of finding plants, collecting them, and making sure my home was surrounded by them. Before I knew it, I was addicted to collecting plants. I would spend all of my time and energy doing research and finding out which plants would thrive in an outdoor or indoor environment. I wouldn’t bat an eye at how much money I was spending to procure these plants. I kept telling myself just one more and it would be enough, but it wouldn’t be. There wasn’t enough room for all of these plants, but I didn’t care, I just wanted them all.
That’s when I realized this is exactly how addition works for other people, and that I was no better than anyone else in fighting the temptation. Whether expensive or inexpensive, your behavior changes to fit the situation. I specifically felt the urge to give a seller a tough time because they wouldn’t sell me a plant at a certain price. That’s not who I am, and I wasn’t proud of having those thoughts. It’s easy to take a step back and see how easy it is to just let addiction escalate, but it felt like I was on autopilot and someone else was making decisions for me.
It’s so easy to judge someone when you see their addiction ruin their lives, especially when you’re numb to see how your own addiction influences your life. I could understand how it’s so difficult to stop because of the thrill and “high” you get from the process of getting it and then using it. You’re also never satisfied with what you have, promptly you do more and more in order to get your high. With a new perspective, I’m lucky to be able to catch this behavior, albeit a minor one, and hold myself accountable. This is a lesson I won’t forget.
As for my plants, they’re thriving and add more health2 and happiness to my life. It’s a thin line to walk since I know I could give in and continue this addiction.
Until next week,
Scott
P.S. I’ve also written on another series: Here’s an Idea, Where I discuss questions, ideas, inquiries, ponderings, etc.
Here’s my article on how to stop overreacting!
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1 Just as a refresher, pokemon and Yugioh cards came in packs in which selection was random. You could purchase the more expensive packs to guarantee one or a few good cards, but for most of us, it was just the luck of a draw.
2 Here’s the study from NASA on how plants can help filter air and remove pollutants: https://ntrs.nasa.gov/api/citations/19930073077/downloads/19930073077.pdf
